Text 18 Jan Questions for people in long-term relationships

I’ve been thinking about relationships a lot lately - mostly long-term relationships.

Honestly, thinking about the rising divorce rate freaks me out. I know it’s more socially acceptable to divorce now than it was, say, 100 years ago, but does that mean that 100 years ago people were unhappy in their marriages and just didn’t have the guts to divorce? From that ~50% of couples who don’t divorce, how many are actually happy together? We are made to believe in soul mates and happily ever afters, but how accurate is that in real life? I’ve heard before that we have to put work into a relationship, but shouldn’t some of it just come naturally? How much is too much?

Unfortunately, I haven’t come up with any conclusions. I haven’t had any lightbulbs turn on or “aha” moments. Quite frankly, I’ve only made myself more confused. I have so many questions for people in long-term relationships.

Here are some of the questions that are burning my insides ;)

1. Do you ever feel like you’re with him/her out of comfort and habit as opposed to love?

2. How do you know this person is absolutely worth the work? What makes him/her different?

3. Do you get tired of each other? What do you do if you want to be alone for awhile?

4. Do you spend time away from each other, with friends and family, or spend all your free time together?

5. Did you know you wanted to be with him/her right away? Or did you slowly fall in love?

6. Is that love inconsistent, where you love them a lot one day and less so the next? Is that okay?

7. Have you ever had doubts with being with one person for so long? Do you ever get scared that after so long, you’ll break up and will have wasted precious years of your life?

8. How can you tell the difference between a dealbreaker or a small compromise for the relationship?

9. Do you tell each other every little thing? How important is communication?

10. Is it possible to be 100% honest and not hurt the other person? If not, do you ever have to lie to avoid hurting his/her feelings?

Photo 18 Sep 137,258 notes lovequotesrus:

EVERYTHING LOVE
Text 17 Sep I’ve Learned

I’ve learned..

Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about

I’ve learned..

You can’t make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. 

I’ve learned..

It takes years to build up trust and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned..

There’s three sides to every story. 

I’ve learned..

You should always treat people the way you want them to remember you by. 

I’ve learned..

A change of attitude can make all the difference. 

I’ve learned.. 

Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they’ve got. 

I’ve learned..

More important than being forgiven, is forgiving yourself.  

I’ve learned..

No matter how hard you’re heartbroken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned..

Never say never. 

I’ve learned..

There’s good and bad to every person. 

I’ve learned..

Our background and experiences may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. 

I’ve learned..

Two people could look at the same exact thing and see two completely different things. 

I’ve learned..

No matter how many times people say money doesn’t matter, money could move mountains in this world. 

I’ve learned..

The smallest things can warm your heart. 

I’ve learned..

Being angry does not give a right to be mean. 

I’ve learned..

We need to value ourselves before anything - even if it means walking away from something or someone. 

I’ve learned..

Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special. 

I’ve learned..

A relationship needs to be reciprocal - you can’t give and give and get nothing in return.  

I’ve learned..

Humor could heal all wounds, temporarily. 

I’ve learned..

Alcohol is never the solution. 

I’ve learned..

Sometimes it’s not the destination, but the journey. 

I’ve learned..

Everyone has a story. 

I’ve learned..

Love is not enough for a successful relationship. 

I’ve learned..

Change is inevitable. 

I’ve learned..

It’s not about the wedding, it’s about the marriage. 

I’ve learned..

People generally see what they look for and hear what they listen for. 

I’ve learned..

The most painful feeling that exists is after losing someone you love. 

I’ve learned..

Never judge anyone, for it could be you next time. 

I’ve learned..

People will never forget how you made them feel. 

I’ve learned..

You will never truly understand something until it happens to you. 

I’ve learned..

No matter how deep you’ve dug yourself in a hole, there’s always a way out. 


Text 15 Sep Date a Girl Who Reads

"Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she has found the book she wants. You see that weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a secondhand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow and worn.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or if she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry and in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who read understand that all things must come to end, but that you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.”


- Rosemarie Urquico

Photo 29 Jul 45,950 notes Someday, sometime

Someday, sometime

Photo 7 Jul 435 notes I whole-heartedly believe in this

I whole-heartedly believe in this

(Source: buddhadoodles)

via Inhabitude.
Photo 7 Jul 15,962 notes .

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(Source: amandaonwriting)

Photo 7 Jul 368,757 notes wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Photo 7 Jul 423 notes Sometimes when I’m overwhelmed, a cup of coffee could make all the difference in my life. It’s the little things that matter. 

Sometimes when I’m overwhelmed, a cup of coffee could make all the difference in my life. It’s the little things that matter. 

via Inhabitude.
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Photo Courtesy: iwanna-fack

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Photo Courtesy: iwanna-fack


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